Christmas thoughts


 

The end of term is hours away, and I find myself wondering what the new year is going to bring. So many possibilities: new people to meet, and others to leave behind.

But before the new year can begin, the old one must finish and this ending does not quite feel like the one I had hoped for. I had imagined peace of mind: essays written, coursework marked, research well and truly underway, and a placement neatly secured.

Instead, the hustle and bustle of real life has taken my Christmas preparation from confident to panicky.

Nothing feels complete with only days to go until the big day. There’s no real help on offer, and of course, the ever-increasing mental load. If only Next had delivered my order yesterday as promised. If only I didn’t have a full house and could actually clean it. And if only the threat of Santa not coming were true, terrifying all tenants into submission.

This year will be different. For once, we are not hosting Christmas dinner at home, but eating out in a big restaurant with the extended family. Whether it will be wonderful or dreadful, only time will tell on the day. I have prepared a few games, some entertainment, and the usual jokes to fill the long hours when I will, of course, have to be merry as tradition expects.

I know the days that follow will be muddled: full of cheese and heavy with too much food and wine. But the call of the essays will linger at the back of my mind. I’ll be thinking, organising my thoughts, and maybe, just maybe, finding time to write a few words.

I am also hopeful that I’ll get to meet up with my uni girl and her son, so we can exchange stories of our respective festive adventures and how we’re coping with the student workload. No doubt we’ll talk about our impending placements, mine still a secret, soon to be revealed.

I will try to fit in some rest too. Time to myself. Time to appreciate all the amazing things that have happened over the past couple of years. And to hope that the new year brings more of the same joy, a little less hardship and some gratitude too… always.

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