first day jitters

 First Day Jitters

Getting accepted as a law student felt like a victory in itself. But the real challenge lay ahead—starting over and stepping into an unfamiliar world where I no longer felt in control.

The thing is, when you're a teacher, you hold a certain power. You shape your students' learning, guide their progress, and influence their confidence with just a few words. You stand as an authority figure, with your day meticulously planned down to the last second. Everything is structured, monitored, and accounted for.

The general public loves the myth that teachers have it easy, done by 3 PM, working a mere five hours a day, enjoying a comfortable salary and endless holidays. What they don’t see is the reality: the unpaid holidays, the never-ending workload that stretches long past the school bell, the relentless scrutiny, and the constant financial strain.

That’s not even touching on the emotional toll, managing difficult behaviour, the guilt of missing work, the unpaid leave, the crushing responsibility. It can feel like a cage, one that tightens around you, draining your mental health and your sense of self. And yet, walking away is one of the hardest things to do.

So I chose a different path. Part-time teaching, part-time studying. A quiet escape plan, kept secret from my colleagues. I hoped, perhaps foolishly, that I’d find a lecturer who would see beyond my classroom management skills, skills that, outside of teaching, feel almost irrelevant.

I felt nervous. Like an outsider. Like I didn’t belong. This new world, filled with endless possibilities, felt out of reach.

Then I met her. Not quite as ancient as me, but older than most of the fresh-faced students around us. We clicked. We worked well together. And suddenly, this strange new place felt a little less daunting.

First days are terrifying. They come loaded with fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt. But they also bring opportunity. Change. Growth.

Today, I finished my first year. The fact that I made it this far—and still managed to keep it a secret, feels surreal.

And just like that, my first day jitters are nothing more than a memory.